Monday Musings: Blacking My Own Eye

Don’t you love it when what you’ve been saying hits you right in the eye?

Me either. 

I spend a lot of time pondering truth and seeking answers for a book I am writing.  It’s a “living in His freedom” daily devotional because so many of God’s children live in chains, and that is not the life He intends for us.  My chains happen to be food-related, but the promise of His freedom covers any chain that has us bound. 

Back to my mental black eye…earlier in the week, I wrote in my book notes: 
We do need personal goals.  If your first thought when thinking of goals is, “I want to lose 100 pounds by this time next year,” you probably need to change your focus.   
On another day, I wrote:
Weighing every day may be indicative of weight loss being more important than His freedom.  If we find ourselves upset because of fluctuations…a gain, I mean, which we will see occasionally no matter what we are doing…then we are placing the importance of weight loss over walking in the freedom He wants us to do.  It’s not about the weight.  It’s about Him.  It’s always about Him.
I confess:  I’ve been getting on the scales every day. 
I’ve lost 14 pounds.  But…

…on Saturday, I went to a birthday party for my husband’s one-year-old granddaughter.   I knew we were having the regular cake and cookies type party foods, plus pizza.  I made up my mind beforehand that I would have one slice of pizza, and that’s what I did.  Ole Boy, who is trying to lose weight, and that is his focus, ate pizza, chips, dip, cake and ice cream (his focus was a little off Saturday).

For dinner, I had Mexican food without cheese dip or rice, and without stuffing myself.   Sunday morning, we found that he maintained his weight loss.  I gained a pound.    

So, I whined, “If I was going to gain weight, I should have had the cake.”  And that’s not all I said.  I was murmuring and complaining!  God doesn't like that.  Getting into the shower, I remembered the words I’d written.  :::BAM!:::

I do not want to slip back into it being about the weight.
That has never, ever worked in the past.  
Old habits die hard.

I don’t claim to have all the answers…but I do know the One who does, and by seeking Him first, I will find the answers.  I’m probably going to be writing a lot about this in the next few months.  

So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.
John 8:36 NLT



  1. Hmmm. I have so many thoughts in response to this post. Some are probably not helpful. Like, it's a guy thing; God built them differently. Maybe we could put ground glass in their food. See. Not helpful.

    On a more serious note--tho ground glass is pretty serious--A couple things in this post stood out to me. And the quote from Shakespeare, "the truth will out," came to mind.

    One was your spontaneous reaction to the gain & the other is your inset, "I do not want to slip back into it being about the weight. That has never, ever worked in the past." It never WORKED before. Worked for what, I wondered.

    it could be worked to bring you loser to God & break those chains. or, it could be worked to help you lose weight...and losing weight would bring you closer to God & break those chains.

    You are more mature than I am (Seriously, you are. I've never heard you threaten non-weight-gainers with ground glass.) so your under the surface meaning was probably the more spiritual first one. Sad to say, my subconscious meaning that leaked out would have been the latter--focusing on weight never worked to get me to lose weight...and, of course, I'm sure that losing weight would get me closer to God and be proof that the chains are broken.

    That's long enough. Pretty impressed with the 14 pounds, by the way & many rational people think that weighing every day is the best, most logical, thing to do while losing weight. If you weigh only once a week or month, for instance, you may just be unlucky enough to step on the scale to a 3 pound water weight gain--and how would you know that?

    But, I digress. Love you, TBR.

    1. Well, I have to say ground glass didn't enter my mind! lol focus has always been to lose weight. I could candy coat it any way, from changing my life style to being obedient to God by either not over-eating, or not eating sugar (where’s that in the Bible?), but my number one goal was the pounds coming off.

      This is actually going to be part of an entry. A little preview, I guess.

      See, Deb, it’s kind of like what you were saying to me earlier, “Take up your bed and walk.” For me, I just been living in the future. “When I lose weight, I’ll…” “Next year, I won’t be this size so I’ll…” My mind frame has been, “as long as I am overweight, I’m useless to everybody, including God.” Rationally, we know that’s not true. God can use me right where I am, but I stay down on that proverbial bed.

      Having a goal to lose weight doesn’t WORK for me. That might be just the thing for somebody else, or almost everyone else, but for me, weight loss must be a benefit, not a goal.

      We do need goals. If I sit down and really think about what I want for the rest of my life, which surely is more than half over, I want the things God had planned for me. His plans for me are far better than my life of paths of least resistance. If I seek Him first, the things I need will be added to me.

      This is kinda funny to me (and probably only me) but I am also writing my Margafesto. I have sat down and written the “negative pages” of my life…to get this out of my system mostly. My life has definitely been affected by my attitude towards myself and my myriad of issues. My Margafesto is an in depth look at myself, what I still want to accomplish, finding God’s purpose …really, I do not know what it will be by the time I finish writing it…we will see. I may include it in the book. I just do not know.

      I do know that I want “weight loss” to be so far down on the list that when I do remember to step on the scales, what I weigh will not have the power to upset me. Period.

      But…I am writing a tome here, and I apologize…for me, I am under conviction for gluttony. It destroys my self-confidence and a whole lot more. Knowing that, I must use the tools at my disposal, my number one tool is prayer (is that really a tool? For lack of a better term I’ll say tool for now). Scripture is another. Believing/trusting Him yet another. And here’s one that helps me as well: keeping sugar out of my diet.

      Seriously, I think God communicates with me more when I am not binge-eating. Or maybe I just hear Him better.

    2. I certainly understand the "when I lose weifht" song. And, yes, we need to pick up our bed and walk.

      Goals are important, yes. Right now, my goal--and I am convinced yours, too--is to know Him better. I know you don't like me saying this, but the knowledge that my days may be short has been like someone taking me by the shoulders, shaking me and saying "Pay attention here." I've lived a clean life, an upright life, so there's not much clean-up there. But, TBR, the need for comfort has been my downfall. Not material things, but comfort in the form of food. As ridiculous as that sounds, there it is. And, then, I let myself be convinced that my weight eliminates me from service. Vicious, ridiculous, addictive cycle, which you have clearly presented here.

      so, all of that to say that I understand. And we shall overcome. I am convinced that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. so will you.

  2. I think its good to have personal goals, write them down, and then pray about them and take them to the Lord for any fine tuning that he might deem necessary. I made goals at the beginning of this year and except for finding a place to volunteer (but I know where I'm going to volunteer, just waiting until we get back from our trip in a couple of weeks) I've accomplished most everything on it. It was good to have something to strive for and they were realistic ones.

    I don't get why men lose weight faster than women I know its hormonal and our chemistry but it can be frustrating and its hard to support the man when he has slipped a few times in our eating plan (like bread at the restaurant when we go out Friday night for our "cheat night") and he loses 3 pounds that week and I stay perfectly on plan and lose barely a pound. Need to work on a more cheerful attitude myself on that.

    Your devotional book sounds interesting!

    yea on the 14 pounds gone!



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