Conversations Outside My Head

Me: I think it’s supposed to rain this weekend.
Co-Worker: Whatever. You can keep dry on the couch.

Ole Boy: (putting gas in my car) I miss the old way of getting gas.
Me: When they pumped it for you?
Ole Boy: Siphoning.

Me: I feel like I’m late if I’m not at work by 7:40.
Cousin: I feel like I’m late if I get there at 8:01…because uh, then I am!

Friend: Me first!
Me: OK.
Friend: Never mind. If you’re letting me, it can’t be good for me.

Four year old Samara: (showing me a band-aid on her toe) I was getting a big fingernail off my toe.  I made it sore.
Me:   Why didn’t you get someone to clip that “fingernail” off your toe?
Samara:   Because I was chewing it.

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